It was an emotional experience, struggling to make the ongoing decision to trust Gwyn’s life into God’s hands or to worry and mentally rush ahead to how I would handle all the ‘what if’s’.
Truthfully I did both, but learned I couldn’t do both simultaneously.
Only during times of completely trusting was I able to find peace, even if I didn’t like the situation.
Days leading up to her birth I felt God bringing to mind the concept of “open hands”, to not tightly hold onto people and how I want everything to be, which is what I’m best at! But to hold my baby girl with open hands and entrust her fully to Him.
Sure enough I came back to this concept repeatedly while at the hospital and am still having to choose to trust my children’s lives to the One who gave them, knowing He is good, faithful, and in control.
I still have my struggles with fear, I also know others go through so much worse or it seems like everything turns out wrong for them.
All I know is when I told God I trusted His choice because I trusted in His supreme love for us I found peace.
I pray you too can come to a place of rest by finding the peace He has specifically for you, regardless of what circumstances you find yourself wrestling with.
July is turning out to be especially eventful, starting from day 1 with our baby Gwyneth being born.
I’ll spare you long stories, suffice it to say God has been good, sustaining our family and providing sufficient cushion for bumps along the road.
So hospital stays, getting rear ended, finding lots of mold in our place, (to name a few challenges) have not fallen on us without grace to know God is always in control.
In learning to be less controlling when you relinquish your plan to God, a new peace says that’s how it’s suppose to be. But sometimes it takes being pushed beyond our limits to concede this truth.
Which I suppose makes me okay, if not glad in hindsight, for seemingly unfortunate times.
We also have much to celebrate.
And that’s my little version of an update after a couple months of it being quiet around here.